"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams"

Day two of my seven day blog challenge: Answer a question someone on your blog asks. I am pretty sure these challenges were meant for people who actually have followers. I have a whole two followers, one of whom no longer blogs. To my one other follower, how the heck do you get people to read your blog? Anyways, I almost gave up on this challenge on the second day, because I simply did not have questions to answer. Luckily my psychology professor saved the day. We are currently in the adulthood section of the book, talking about careers, marriage and raising children and my professor asked us what "I love you" means to us. So here goes, I'm about the answer the age old question, "what is love?" (baby don't hurt me)


Love is waking up in the morning and making the choice to make your significant others day better. It is consciously making the decision to keep giving love and accepting love in return. Love is opening your heart; letting out the fear and doubts and letting warmth and passion in.

Love is being silly and ridiculous. Love is having tickle fights in the middle of the day, just because. Love is making stupid jokes that have the two of you rolling on the ground laughing and other people looking at you like you're crazy. Love is not being afraid to be yourself, not being too shy to make silly faces at each other or being to self-conscious to play and have fun.

Love is passion. Love is not being able to keep your hands off of each other. Love is kissing and having every other thought melt away. Love is that warm, fuzzy feeling in your stomach that you almost feel addicted to. Love is not being able to get enough of the other person.

Love is gentle. Love is compassionate and caring. Love is whispers and love letters; giggles and secrets. Love is holding each other and feeling like you are in the safest place in the world.

Love is a little bit of pain. Love is never physical pain, but that little ache in your heart when you have a fight, that worry that you have, the occasional doubts. Love is facing the pain and overcoming in. Love is when the good out ways the bad, but understanding that there will be bad days.

Love is seeing someone as they really are, flaws and all, and still accepting them. Love is by no means perfect. No two people are completely compatible, but everyone is able to compromise. Love is knowing that your other is a good person, despite their annoying habits. Love is raising a person up, instead of putting them down. Love is focusing on the positive and not the negative.

Love is smiling for no apparent reason. Love is that full feeling you get in your heart. Love is still get butterflies after years spent together.

Love is waking up every morning and knowing that it will be a good day, if you are with that special person. It is looking forward to the future and praying for your dreams to come true. Love is patient and understanding. Love is an endless road. Love is never becoming tired of the journey.

"The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams"

Today I was challenged to write a blog post with a list. There were all sorts of list ideas that bounced around in my head; all the things I need to get done, good books, good movies, favorite bands. None of those have much substance though, so I decided to make a list of important lessons I have learned in my life so far. I know, I know, I'm only nineteen and I probably have a lot to learn but at the same time I already have learned quite a bit. Take a look for yourself...

1. You do not need to search for love, when you are ready it will find you and it will probably happen in the most unexpected way. I have seen many friends have fruitless relationships and countless one-week boyfriends. I myself tried so hard to be someone I wasn't for the wrong guy. When I stopped trying and focused on making myself happy I found a wonderful boy who was right in front of me all along, it just hadn't been the right time for us yet.

2. Take photographs of everything, write in a journal on a regular basis and hold on to random keepsakes. When people ask what one thing I would save (excluding people) if my house were on fire, my first thought is always my scrapbooks and journals or my memory box. I have journals going back to 6th grade and scrapbooks from when I was a baby. I have a box filled with notes my friends passed in middle school, girl scout pins and friendship bracelets. It can be so amazing to look back on these memories and really remember how I was feeling. Some may call me a pack-rat, but these things are my life and memories in tangible form.

3. Do not judge people based on looks or how they seem. I am only human, of course I have my stereotypes and make judgments, but there is so much more to people than how they appear on the outside. It makes me sick to hear people judge someone because they are overweight; you never know why that person is overweight, it could be because of physical or mental problems. There are countless other stereotypes that follow this same idea; drug addicts are awful people, quiet people don't want to make friends, poor people deserve it. You never know the life story behind someone you just met or what led them to the situation they are currently in. There are so many amazing and inspirational people in the world, take a chance to get to know them.

4. Try to quiet your heart and just listen to your higher power. I have always been a fixer; I try to repair friendships, fix peoples problems, make everything work out just right, attempt to please everyone...And it just doesn't work. You can't fix everything, you can't please everyone and you can't always make the right decisions when you are thinking too much. I know that sounds stupid, but seriously, next time you have a hard choice to make just stop thinking. Listen to your heart, pray, look around you; the answer is there already. There are most likely signs of some sort, you just need to see them.

5. Never miss out on a chance to get to know someone better. I am a big fan of having a small group of friends and really getting to know each of them. But there are always a lot of other people surrounding you; co-workers, the waitress at your favorite restaurant, the parents or siblings of a friend. You should really get to know those people, I am sure they have some amazing stories to tell. Surround yourself by positive people and truly get to know them, don't just scratch the surface. This is a lesson I learned recently; my friends dad passed away and he was an amazing man. Unfortunately, although this was my best friends dad, I really didn't know him that well. I wish I had taken the time to talk to him more often.

6. Smile. This one is simple, just smile at everyone and everything. Smiling will always make you feel better and it will brighten the day of those around you. Smile when you're driving, meditate and smile (Google it, smiling meditation is actually kind of fun), smile at strangers, just do it! It is so much more fun to put energetic music on in the morning and throw a smile on your face than to chug another cup of coffee and glare at everyone.

7. Go to bed and wake up earlier. This is a lesson I'm still trying to learn. I have always been pretty good at going to bed at a decent time but I hate waking up. But lately I have learned that waking up even an hour earlier can make a huge different. I wake up at 8 on Sunday mornings when my entire dorm is still asleep and get to do my laundry uninterrupted! I'm now working on waking up a tad earlier so I have time to do some yoga or to dance around in the mornings. I feel so much better throughout the day when I get up and start moving and I love the peace there is in the morning, before the chaos of life starts up again.

8. Read a good book. Nothing can help you de-stress more than a good book. I try to end my day each day with a little bit of reading. It helps fill my mind with fun stories (and less stress) before bed. Also, reading (even "brain candy" books as my moms calls them...Books like Twilight) can teach you something; even your biggest guilty pleasure can bring you some knowledge, there are always new words, new phrases, new concepts. The more you read the more you know!

9. Go ahead and eat that cookie. I am all about eating healthy and I am seriously trying to create healthier eating habits for myself, but you will be miserable if you deprive yourself of the occasional treat. Everyone deserves a cookie every once in awhile, or everyday in my case ;-)

10. Fight for what you want, don't give up and follow your heart. This is probably the most important lesson I have learned in life so far. I haven't had anything in life handed to me, I have had to work for my college education, for things I want and things I need. It isn't always easy but it will be worth it in the end. I am stressed out a lot, trying to figure my life out and trying to decide how to pay for college but I am doing something I love which makes it all worthwhile. I choose a major that a lot of people told me I shouldn't because it was what I knew I wanted to do, it is my passion. If I had picked something different I would be nearly as dedicated to working hard and would be miserable having to fight so much to pay for school. Of course you should always make rational decisions, don't do anything too crazy, but make sure your heart has a say in what you do. Once you make a decision, stick with it and fight till the end.

Signs

In a couple hours I will be at the funeral of my best friend's dad. He lost his battle with cancer after 6 1/2 months of courageous fighting. It really doesn't seem possible, he was such an amazing man and touched so many lives. It makes you realize how precious and fragile life is, you never know when you may lose someone. You should never forget to tell people you care about that you love them and you should never pass up an opportunity to get to know someone. I really didn't know her dad as well as I would have liked and now I wish I had taken the opportunity to talk to him more. The same thing happened when my Grandpa passed away, I was still in elementary school and I wasn't really old enough to make memories with him and to have the meaningful conversations I so badly wish I had had now.

What I really wanted to talk about today though is signs. I have struggled with my faith my entire life. I suppose I have always believed in God but we changed religions so many times when I was little that I don't really know which religion I identify with or what exactly I believe. I do believe though that there is a higher power who helps guide our lives and that lost loved ones will always look over us. I think this is evident in some recent experiences. My friends boyfriend for example, got the magazine that her dad had signed him up for as a Christmas present yesterday, the day of the viewing. To me that was a sign that this wonderful man will continue to love and send advice to the boy who loves his daughter.

Furthermore, an Uncle told my friend and her boyfriend that when you see two hawks flying together that means the soul of a lost loved one is free. We have all seen hawks flying over the last few days.

There is also the fact that on Wednesday, the day he passed away we were discussing moral dilemas in my psychology class. My teacher posed this question to us, "A man's wife has a serious, life-threatening form of cancer. There is a druggist in town who has developed a cure for this cancer but is selling it at 20 times what the medication is worth because he invented it and thinks he deserves the money. The man can only raise half of the money he needs to buy the drug and the druggist refuses to sell it for less. Should the man steal the medication for his wife?". My professor encouraged us to discuss this and I explained that my best friends dad was currently fighting cancer and if I knew someone who had a cure for him, hell yes I would steal it. What time was this class and this particular discussion? Roughly 1:30. What time did my friends dad pass away? 1:30.

So many things have been happening, so many little signs. I truly believe that someone is watching over us, preparing us for the sadness and helping guide us through it. Open your eyes to life and love, look at the world around you. Quiet your heart and just listen. It is amazing what you can hear and learn when you stop trying to figure everything out.

"Don't fix it if it hasn't broken yet, don't regret it if it hasn't happened yet"

Hello everyone, sorry I have not been posting as much as I promised I would. Right now I'm stuck in this waiting stage; waiting to see if we will get the apartment, waiting to see if I'll be able to get into the classes I want to this summer, waiting to see if work will get enough hours. Once I have decisions made I am perfectly content, even if they are the wrong decisions, I am happy because whats done is done. Bur right now I'm just waiting to find out about my decisions, waiting to see what is going to happen and I hate that. It is the wait that makes me nervous. Like right before you get on a giant roller coaster, you are so excited when you first think about getting on and you love it afterwards but as you WAIT for hours in line you get all sorts of butterflies and knots in your stomach. This week will pretty much be the determining factor in the next year or two of my life, all the questions will be answered. I am so excited for this week, but also ready for it to be over.

In other news, why in the world do we have to take history classes? History is the only class that I am worried about not doing well in. I have to study and read for it constantly. There is so much work involved that I do just what I need to get by and than I forget everything. That isn't really learning is it? I used to like history until I got to the class I'm taking now. The teacher doesn't really teach...And I have a big test on Tuesday. Wish me luck.

Oh yeah, and the title for this post is a song by one of my favorite bands, Four Year Strong. If I ever get another tattoo I would probably get either "Don't fix it if it hasn't broken yet" or "don't regret it if it hasn't happened yet" tattooed on me somewhere. I try to fix everything, and sometimes in trying to fix things that aren't really broken I end up making them worse. If that makes sense

And finally, I promised that I would post random things I'm learning about apartments and saving money. At the moment I am trying to learn how to use coupons well. I work at CVS and I see people come in and by $100 worth of stuff and only pay $5 because of the coupons they use. Once I get it figured out, I'll let you know :)

Decisions

On Saturday I started my apartment hunt and found a place that I thought was really good and almost went ahead and put in the applications for it. Luckily, I decided to hold off and look at a few more places.

Today, I went around to look at three more places. The first place smelled like cat pee. The second place had police cars with sirens wailing driving by, a dog that looked like it could eat me and a slightly funky odor. The third place...Well that is where I'll be living. The people were wonderful and professional, the rooms looked great and did not smell, the rent is $25 cheaper than the place I looked at Saturday AND there is a swimming pool/fitness center/cyber cafe all included! I am SO excited. I went with some friends and looked around. About an hour after getting home I went back to give them my application. I didn't want to wait and risk losing my place. To further my excitement, everyone who turns in an application gets to spin a big wheel and get a prize...I got the jackpot! The lady who helped me didn't know what that was so she is going to call me tomorrow to let me know what my winnings are. Tune in tomorrow to find out ;-)

I am ridiculously excited. I can't believe that things are really happening and I can't believe how lucky I am. By the end of the week I'll know if my application is approved and by the first week in April I'll know for sure which style of apartment I'll be in.

Things are finally looking up for me and I couldn't be more excited. Now I am really anxious to get started and to move all my stuff in and decorate! Now that I know for sure where I'll be living I'm going to start think up ways to decorate!

Apartment Hunting

Hello lovely bloggers!

I am having a wonderful day today. I had to work this morning, which was not so lovely but it is money and I am grateful to have a job during these hard economic times. I also got to talk to a few nice people. That is the nice thing about working in retail, sometimes you meet awesome people but other days you see people you want to punch.

Anyways, the wonderful part of the day was that I got to start hunting for my very first apartment! I was only able to go in and see one and I saw the outside of a few (that was enough to let me know I shouldn't live there) and there is one other I would like to see the inside of. I felt so smiley, looking in the rooms and imagining how I will decorate. I am stressing out a little, trying to make a budget and everything but overall I am very excited!

Over the next couple months (late April or early May will be move in time!) I will be posting random things about decorating apartments, saving money, DIY projects etc. There is a lot of research I need to do about various topics and I would love to share any helpful hints I learn! Plus, blogging will provide any easy reference for me when it's time to put all my research to work :)

Is there anything regarding saving money or decorating that you would like to know but haven't had the time to research/learn yourself? I would be happy to help you out!

Being sad with the right people is better than being happy with the wrong ones

I woke up an hour late today, with only ten minutes until my first class of the day started. As I forced myself out of bed and sprinted to class (I made it only ten minutes late!) I was convinced that today would be a bad day; my hair was a mess, I felt sick from eating breakfast and running at the same time, I was sweating and runny nosed by the time I sat in my assigned seat. 


Luckily I was wrong.


At the end of that first class we got essays back that we wrote before spring break and I made an A! I really needed the good grade after doing not so great on our last test. It is an honors history class and I have been really struggling to keep up with the work load, but it looks like I might actually do well. 


After my second class I went to the main dining hall for lunch. With his wonderful timing, my boyfriend texted me right after I filled my plate telling me to meet him and some of our friends in one of the other dining areas. I considered eating on my own but decided to get a to-go box and headed over to the other area. I'm happy I did, because this is where the title of today's post comes in. Fortunately, none of us were sad, it was just good company and lots of laughs; something I, as the shy girl, have had some difficulty finding here at college. Spending time with three boys and being the only girl is always interesting. We discussed everything from why boys are so attracted to butts to traveling to China. Later in the day I had a short but nice talk with a good friend about relationships and love. I'm the kind of person who is really quiet but craves conversation and secret sharing. I hate holding things in or not getting to know other people as well as I would like and lately I have felt like I haven't been connecting to people as well or as much as I should. Today showed me though, that having a small but wonderful group of friends is much better than surrounding yourself by people who you can't really talk to or who don't appreciate and love you. Having good or just silly talks with people always puts me in a great mood, my supposedly bad day turned into a really nice day spent with some awesome people.